As I said before, me and my husband we always wanted to have a big family. Even though I was a happy only child until I was 14, I knew that I'm going to have a lot of kids. And a lot in Europe means more than two. :) Then I met my husband, he has way more siblings than me, but for some reason he didn't grow up with them and never felt like he had a home. But he knew that one day he will have his own family full of love and happiness. :)
We were dating for just a few weeks when he told me he wanted to have five kids. I just laughed and said, “well, we better start right away”... :)
I remember when I was 15 I told myself that I’m going to have my first child when I’m 25. When I was 25, I first came to Taiwan and I started planning my big life shift...so there was no place for having a baby at all. At that point, I told myself "I really want to have my first before my 30th birthday". That plan seemed to be more doable, being in this prosperous relationship where we are both serious about building the future together. But then, I also wanted to get married before I get pregnant... Ups...
My husband proposed to me in June 2019, it was a big surprise although we both knew that it’ll eventually come (you can read more about our engagement story in the previous post). I started planning the wedding in my head immediately, and later it stressed me out. I wanted to have a wedding in Taiwan, I also wanted my family to be present. My husband didn’t care, he said he would do whatever I want but if it was up to him we would go to the office, sign the papers and done.
In summer 2019 we went to Europe for the first time together. It was an exciting trip for both of us. We spent most of the time with my family. They accommodated us, fed us generously and fell quickly in love with my husband. I guess his confident and communicative personality made everything way easier despite the fact that he didn‘t speak our language (and most of my family don’t speak English either).
During that time, I realized that a big wedding, full of stress from transporting my family and friends to Taiwan, was a harsh idea. And after all, I didn’t want to be selfish and having my “dream” wedding when my husband didn’t want this at all. Also after spending more than a month surrounded by my family, we decided that it‘s time to start our own. We told ourselves, if we get pregnant easily, we will get married before the baby comes.
I’m very conscious of my cycle since I stopped eating pills a few years ago. And I’ve been tracking my periods on my phone since I got my first smartphone as well. If I remember well, we started “trying to conceive” right after we returned from Europe in September. In the first cycle, we didn’t get pregnant and as many women, I started freaking out immediately. Of course, you know that people have problems to get pregnant nowadays. And sadly it‘s becoming normal. But at the beginning we’re all naive (and with ”we” I mean women), we think that it will happen magically the first time you try. Well, it didn't... :) and it’s OK.
At first, my husband didn’t understand why I was so sad when my September period came. After I explained to him what is happening in a woman’s head at this time, he understood and said: “At least we can still try, nothing is over”. I knew that this was completely normal but those hormones made me a little crazy.
I think I’m a little bit of control freak because after that first cycle I started my research. :) I ditched coffee (my big friend) and alcohol, and I tried to eat healthy in order to get pregnant.
Haha... I’m just laughing at myself when I’m thinking about that now.
I watched tons of videos on YouTube titled “how to survive two weeks wait”, “how to boost your fertility“ or “positive test 10 DPO”. :D Most of the time, I was also hiding it in front of my husband because I felt like I was crazy and it was too much... :D
It was October, we’re preparing a Halloween party in school and I was ready with a bunch of pregnancy tests for my ”two weeks wait” to be over. Committed to my mission, I told my husband that I won‘t be drinking at the party. The party was great, it finished early in the morning on Sunday and I enjoyed it despite the fact I was sober (that was sadly impossible for me before). That Sunday I was supposed to be 10DPO (days past ovulation), I woke up and did the test. While I was waiting for the result, I was regretting a little bit “it’s too early, it‘ll be negative”. I checked and it was the faintest line you could ever see. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? :D
I tried on Monday morning again.
Faint positive, but more visible than the day before! Surprisingly I didn’t freak out, I didn’t cry but I felt so happy and peaceful. At this point, I hadn't told my husband yet.
That Monday, we’re supposed to have a dinner with my father-in-law. We went to the city, I waited at a 7eleven for my husband to finish teaching, then we went to the dinner. The whole time I was thinking whether I should tell my husband tonight or wait a few more days. When we got home I did another test, the line was becoming more visible. And because I’m really bad about keeping secrets in front of him, I decided to tell him.
My husband’s birthday is in July, which was exactly 9 months from that time. So I made him a little gift box with a voucher saying “Early Happy Birthday, your special gift will be delivered in July 2020” and I put the pregnancy tests inside.
Funny thing was that, when he received the box he knew what was coming, so he wasn’t that surprised at all. :) But of course, he was happy, and told me that he hoped for it to happen because he didn’t want to see me crying again. :)
Later he also said that he was sad we didn’t do the test together. He wanted to record a video of our reaction. I understood, but I didn‘t want to be heartbroken in front of the camera in case the test turns negative.
And that’s how we got pregnant. It was fast and easy, and I’m still laughing at myself, how silly and stressed I was for nothing. :) I guess it’s normal when it’s your first time, you’re overwhelmed and overexcited. :)
Also, I was surprised by our reactions. There was no screaming, jumping on the bed or crying (and I’m a master in crying hah). It just felt so normal and natural...maybe because we planned it, and we were ready. :)
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