You have all been there, right? That weird part of your life, when you’re questioning if you’re worth it, if it was a good idea (whatever was it) or if your life will ever get better.
If you haven‘t then you’re a unicorn OR you’re lying to yourself.
For the past few months, I’ve been kinda lost because our family is being challenged a lot. It all started soon after Freeda was born when life began to throw sticks under our feet. We lost our beloved car and were without a vehicle for 3 months before we managed to get a new one. Not an ideal situation when you have a newborn, it’s hot summer and you need to walk or take a train everywhere you go. At that moment, living in a mountain area far from everything was very frustrating. Poor Youguey worked two jobs and spent hours waiting for a commute to get home.
Once we got a new car, things got better for a while. Then we realized that Youguey must travel to his home country for a new passport. Even in 2021, when we can pay with our watch or order food delivered by drones, some people have to travel across the globe to get a new passport.
Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal, he would get a ticket, enjoy his time with family and friends and then come back in no time.
In covid times, he went, we lost a hell of the money because of the fucked up flights, he spent most of his time in the friend’s house being worried about getting the virus, he had to buy a ticket from borrowed money, flew back and finally, spent 2 + 1 weeks in quarantine.
In the meantime, I have been stuck at home alone with a baby, having no family or friends nearby. And when he came back home, I traveled to Kaohsiung to spent two weeks with our good friends Gabi and Sian.
We haven’t seen Youguey for a month and it was hard. Even harder for him. Babies grow so fast and in a month they change a lot, so he felt like he missed out a lot. Freeda and he caught up quickly though.
So, we got back together and tried to get back on track. Then we learned that we can‘t get married here as we planned so we can stay in Taiwan as a family. Politics messed up our plan and the proof of singlehood that Youguey brought from Ivory Coast was useless here in Taiwan. Simply because it was not stamped by a Taiwan representative in Ivory Coast, which doesn’t exist because Ivory Coast doesn’t acknowledge Taiwan as a country. When we got to know about it, I was already fed up. I felt like we are the worst couple of foreigners living in Taiwan when it comes to paperwork, haha.
Anyway, we came up with another plan. I will apply for Ph.D. and try to get Taiwan Scholarship. We will travel to Czechia for the summer where I apply for a new visa so the baby and I can legally stay in Taiwan. Of course, the trip will be very expensive and tiring but it was the best option at the time. Oh wait, the baby has no passport either Czech birth certificate and basically, she has no citizenship. Damn it!
We sent out her birth certificate to Czechia quickly, applied for her Czech citizenship and Czech birth certificate. We haven’t gotten it yet but we are praying to all the gods and spirits to get it before our visas expire. Truthfully speaking, this was our big fault because we were postponing this process for so long. We didn‘t think that we will have to travel any time soon, she had Taiwan ARC so we were not in rush to deal with her Czech papers.
We know how plans work, so obviously we had a plan B just in case. If I don‘t get the scholarship, we will all go to Czechia for summer, get married there, enjoy the time with our Czech family and friends and come back as a family. Freeda and I will apply for a dependent visa based on marriage and her Czech birth certificate. The Taiwanese birth certificate is useless in this case because Youguey is not there as her father. Here in Taiwan, the father of the baby could be on their birth certificate only if he and the mother are married.
This week, I got to know that I didn‘t get the scholarship and it just broke me down for a minute ( or maybe an hour haha). I felt like nothing is meeting us halfway. I processed the whole situation, discussed it with Youguey and now I’m feeling better.
Also, the fact that I can write it up and let it go out here makes me feel better instantly. I am tired of showing you guys something that is not even true. Actually, you can see that I am distant from posting on social media when there are difficulties in our life. But I am not doing it anymore! As much as I like to see the real-life of other people on Instagram, I am ready to share the reality of mine!
In the end, I would like to say one thing. I’m happy and grateful for having a loving partner. Our love is stronger than all the bullshit we have to deal with. We struggle a lot, our loved ones are far away so it’s only us three. We rarely fight, we talk a lot and we always try to deal with everything together. We are lacking money but all these things money couldn’t buy. And then, we have a beautiful healthy daughter and that‘s more than everything.
I’m sending love to all of you because our house is full of it!
Will get back to you with news and updates. Who knows where this journey will take us. <3
Big hugs to you and your lovely family. ❤
We had the same situation in the marriage process. It was indeed a headache. My husband had to fought with several government agencies just to get through.
Without this pandemic everything would have been easy, right? I hope everything goes smoothly as you continue.
I wish you all the best, dear.
By the way, my husband loved your husband’s music☺️